Regret......

Sometimes in life we become so blindfolded about things that we love and run after, that we forget to see in what ways is it corrupting us……and at the end of it all, we never find the things we were actually running after, because it was never ours anyway, but we end up becoming something that we were actually not.

So one fine day when we realize that a wild goose chase has done us no good, it has infact consumed all our energy and vibrancy, it has made us do bad to people who actually cared, who were there with us all along, but we never noticed them because we took them for granted in this maddening chase, we realize that they all have already moved too far, and you are left with nothing, no energy, vibrancy or trust from people who actually cared.

So what do you do then?

Apologize to people whom you have hurt badly?

That won’t be the solution I guess…..

the best thing possible that could be done now is to pave the way that you broke while running, putting each stone step by step, making sure that nobody ever falls again from the road of trust that you have built.

And maybe that would be the best thing that you could do for people who actually cared.

Amen!!

Toast....

... to today that feels like new pleasant first day of Spring...

... to the perfectly imperfect girl who wants change...

... to Ma for all the nagging and that morning’s inadvertant push...which has been fruitful now....

... to the crap song that I seem to like....

... to the new lifestyle-denoting acronym which isn’t one anymore....

... to the rediscovered colouring book and my poems....

... to the starred email in my inbox, typed with “Infy”....

... to the “bestest” friend who should be on a gondola at sunset under the Bridge of Sighs right now...

... to the recharge battery who owes me a big hot chocolate fudge for this...

... to the “full-time friend”, my telepathic co-pilot with the Midnight Phone Call syndrome...

... to 2 o’ clock nights...
I offer no explanation, but I am very kicked, zinged,verved....
I’ve wanted to start afresh for a very long time....

So, I do...all garbage OUT...

RANDOM...

Childhood…well, my childhood was amazing… caring and most adorable parents…protective elder sister…when I still look at those photographs I can make out that everyone in the family loved me from the very start…I myself remember some foggy images of that times…seriously childhood was fun… when what you care the most in the world is for your ma’s arms, your father’s shoulder and dancing with your sister, having your beloveds around always to pamper you…


My grandmother was the most generous lady I ever saw…I have never even saw getting more older… just few white hairs and some wrinkles as I remembered…always hymning some bhajan which was melodious indeed…but the lyrics seemed so tough I never cared to remember them though… but she always tried with a kind smile to teach us the verse… I have seen for years like this simply beautiful…may be people used to bless her with such prayers… she was one of her kind…

When she expired I was so tender to know what had happened…. Why everyone around was crying… I was crying just because ma was crying… I actually couldn’t understand that thing at that moment…I understand it now and it’s very sad…

I saw none like her now…she was wonderful….

I never said her but I guess...she would have known… I love u… we all do…

These lyrics are awesome....I feel addicted when I hear this one.......M still High!!


It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, 
you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face
let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes
saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me
if ever I fall
You say it best
when you say nothing at all


All day long I can hear 
people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, 
you drown out the crowd
Try as they may they can never define
What's being said between your heart and mine


The smile on your face 
let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes 
saying you'll never leave me 
The touch of your hand says
you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best 
when you say nothing at all..

Isn't it just beautiful? You'll fall in luv........

What a Girl Really wants....

You know what really turns a girl on????? So what what your mind says....Kisses and hugs.... Temme if it has to be something.....  More than kisses more than hugs more than anything in this world.....Well, to tell you the fact it is - Honesty.

If you are in a relationship of any kind with a girl - friend, mother, sister, girl friend..anyone,if you are not yourself with her, if you are not honest with her you are gonna lose her respect if not her...

I say only respect and not her because girls have this weird habit of letting it go and giving another chance. For them the relationship is just too important to give up on you that easily...

Even if you go and make out with another girl, even if you are a drug addict, even if you bitched about her, even if you think that you need space, even if you think that she is too possessive..even if you are married to another woman..but you still want to be with her..just come and tell her! believe me she'd eventually forgive you and still love you as much. I mean I know guys who the world thinks can be the best catch, but the reality is they are the biggest jerks of all the times!!!

For God's sake always be honest with her! She expects you to share all your troubles with her. If she's told you that she loves you that automatically means that she's gonna listen to all your troubles and try and make you comfortable as best as she can. Once she has fallen in love with you trust me she has already stopped judging you!! So kindly have the courage to tell her what you truly feel and what blunders you have truly committed! She will scold you only because it hurts to see someone she loves in trouble. You know she'd find out the truth anyway. But if YOU go and tell her, you'd not only feel lighter but also will earn her respect!!!

Even if you are oh-not-so-cool dude, please dont try and act like one!! thats so bloody irritating!!

Plz "Be yourself".... I'd rather marry a simple shirt-pant vala honest guy who has the guts to be himself and accepts what he is than a wannabe dude with so called super cool ultra low waist jeans and chains or whatever u call those ugly things hanging around the belt but doesn't know shit about his roots and is too ashamed to accept that he is originally from, say, some small village near Ramgarh!!

I am not a feminist nor any "Lady Bheem" and well what ever I just said about how girls give another chance and everything might be true for boys too. Basically, the bottom line is I rather we all HATE LIARS and we even HATE PEOPLE WHO PRETEND!!!

In Love with Ghost....

This one is strictly inspired by an unusual dream I had last night...yup!!! I dreamed of a Ghost...and the funniest part...I was in Love with Him/It (whatever....)...
In the late morning today...I actually thought how it will be to be in love with a Ghost...(like in movie Paheli...which I saw last weekend...on tv) and finally this is what I got from the thought....

Pros:
1. The best part....Your parents can never catch you with him, leave alone the aunties or uncles (whom you might not know but they can find you anywhere among thousands of people)...  because all he has to do is disappear....
2. Body odour and bad breath is NEVER an issue...
3. You don't have to worry about your love getting hurt in an accident (ghost -> already dead).
4. No problems with punctuality from your sweetsoul's end (no heart, remember)....
5. You don't need to be afraid of the dark anymore, your love's got excellent night vision...
6." Think of me, and I'll be there" really works in this case...
7. The 'walking through walls' ability saves you a lot of trouble when you lock yourself...
8. Always giving you small appearing surprises...
9. Can come to meet you anytime of day...and even in night... ;)
10.Even death cannot do you apart...

Cons:
1. Serious lack of privacy...
2. Lack of physical presence...
3. Cannot be introduced to your parents / friends / relatives / boss...
4. Annoying disappearing act in the middle of heated arguments...
5. Can't go for long walks during the day...
6. Can't play hide n seek...
7. You would never know if he's cheating on you, because he'd never smell of another woman's perfume...hehe...
8. You can't exactly break up, especially if he isn't willing to....
9. Poses a serious threat to your next lover....
10. Always worried about him passing over to the next world....


umm...what else is left to say..


Happy Ghosting.. :)

Actually....

You lie so cutely, I don't even feel like breaking it to you that I know abt it.
IN FACT, I enjoy it!!!!! :D

That's the best part of it....

**music playing in the background (on radio...) while I write this.... Tum mile to jaadu chaa gaya....tum mile to jeena agaya...tum mile to maine paya h khuda............**

On a totally different note,
 Who breaks our heart???? One amongst us.... right????
And who can heal it with love and care???? Again one amongst us....
Our little world is so self-reliant. We only need to put together correct combinations...... But..... before you reach a state where you have all the correct combinations in the world you might get n(n-1)-n/2 incorrect ones, n being the number of hearts,
But the good news is there is an upper limit to the number of incorrections........

In short, hope prevails.....let it.....

A Let-ter to LOVE...

Dear Love,

I hear you have been busy. I don't know if you know but you have recently visited (or in some case revisited) some of my friends and infected them with the affliction that they don't understand. How can they feel self assured with your presence in their life if they can't comprehend you?

If they can't find assurance themselves, they look towards their friends, ordinary people like me, who to say the least can only give them a third person's perspective on the whole issue. How can a third person give a perspective on how love should be? How can anyone define it? Isn't it unique to every two people who are or have ever been in love? The irony is that they think you have to be understood before they can embrace you, while it is the embrace that brings the understanding.

On another note, the more I hear of you, the more I wonder what makes you tick in the hearts of people. Why a person chooses another can never be fully explained by anyone, including the two souls involved. It'll be interesting to know your modus operandi some day. Why don't you write an autobiography and tell us your story?

Since I know what you mean to me, everything I have written here may be coloured with my experiences, no matter how much objectivity I try to retain in my words. But at the end, I know, you who none understands, will understand.

Yours Sincerely,

The Confused Reality

I hope you Dance...........

Beautiful song..listen to it if u can,on the net.


I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes,
I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes,
I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)


P.S. you'll love it.............

13 Random things About Me!!!

"About Me".... if asked in an interview I would definitely drench my mind thinking what the interviewer wants to hear.... But...actually what About Me.... I often found it difficult to answer this question.... what we all say....I'm 21 years...studies this that...and all that traditional blah blah.......But still we need to discover many things about ourselves....Here is my try!!!

Why 13.... well I'm born on 13th and many things are attached to it...which I'll probably write some other day...for the time being..."13 random things ABOUT ME"

1. I absolutly love my family...Indeed, God has choosen the best for me...I couldn't have ask for anything better than this!!!

Love u Ma, Pa and Di...

2.I adore my girlfriends and nothing can dare change that....There are certain things that only girls can understand eventhough most of my friends are men...and they are the best thing that have happen to me....

3.I think I'm independent...But I don't do a thing without telling it to ma or di or any of my friend....That's the way I'm...

4.I love to be pampered...I'm emotionally quite high-maintainance...I don't demand diamonds or presents...for that matter not even chocolates or flowers...All I want is time and attention...

5.I'm religious and spiritual but hate it when its imposed on me!!! 

6.If time and money are not a problem...I'll Love to explore the world...length to breadth...and do craziest of adventures.........

7.Now a days..I can stay up all night writting, watching movies doing whatever but when i have to study i feel like staying up is the hardest thing to do. I probably wake up early in the morning to hole those books........

8.Gold.........eheh.....I just don't like it....agree that old is Gold...but Gold is so old....u might think...Diamonds...but Diamonds are not my best friends atleast....

9.I try to prepare myself for the worst in every situation...that's a pessimist in me....but I have a firm belive in the Almighty... In short, I'm a "Opssimist"...

10.I hate it when people are upset because of me or at me. It drives me nuts and in my attempt to have them not mad at me or because of me i tend to get on their nerves, i think....

11. I get attached very easily and have a heartache later on... Thats a bad bad bad thing. I wish everytime i said "I dont care" i really didn't care but its just the opposite :(

12. I love my school...am glad my parents send me there...my college..well it was a trailer of the real world...

13.Thanks to my last visit to Barista...I have developed a fetish for good coffee...no doubt I'm a gourmet....

umm.................still not all....one can never have enough of one's ownself....

To sum up....I like to be free as a bird and intrepid like a lioness...but  at the same time I'm very integrated and grounded...I'm an Ambivert an Aquarian with a difference.......

.

Happy reading....... :)

Rain Rain Come again...

Temme.... what could be more perfect on Saturday Morning..... Weekend on, Cool Breeze blowing,  Trees swinging... You hear rain pouring while you are still twisting in your bed making your mind to get up....but with a smile... a smile of knowing yep! it will be beautiful day!!!
So, finally up and fresh....having a bowl full of hot daliya...(oops!! cuppa is missing!! not so perfect uh? r u thinking that....well lemme tell u den rains are all about surprises!!) Umm....hot stream of daliya going down the food pipe and just then the cool breeze give an embrace....shivers go down your spine....making u giggle...

After being quite amused with the showers,I saw through my window.... greenry of trees.... kids getting wet in rains....their mums worried... People at their balconies talking sweet nothings with their loved ones...
Then I saw the street children....smiling with the drop of rains....glittering  eyes...as if it says...its the best way to live your day...away from overrefinement of life... Rains brought smile to them.....Indeed monsoon makes every one smile....

But...but...something was incomplete....yepp.........how can anyone keep oneself away from these sprinkling streams of showers...Not me atleast....I drop the daliya (the beauty of rains bind so much that you forget even the hottest of things...;)...)went on the roof....and let the rain drops do their work on me..... beautiful.....
but that's not all.....rains without some fun...are a big NO NO!!!.... so ....just went down....took my niece and nephew along...and then....smaaaaaaaaassssssssh........ in the rain pool..... I tell u its nothing like dancing in the rain....jumping in those rain pools....throwing ganda paani on each other.......

Rains are not to be seen from the Windowpane.....
I know rain makes still pools on the side-walks....It makes running pools in the gutter...But it also makes little sleep-song on roof at night....And it does bring that Smile...
So throw away those umbrellas and  go out and feel it....

Happy Appie Rain Dancing!!!