Crazy till 25...

Well... after I wrote "A Look Back"... I actually thought it only two more year to 25… just two more… why not live the way I wanna live it… crazily...

Upasana: 'U r crazy', my friends often call me! That's the most interesting part doing unpredictable weirdo wale things...

Doing the things we actually want to do...

If u ask me.. I am actually fed up from the way "how I am supposed to live"... Illusion living that not just me but everyone creates... we all… in order to act/behave like "normal" citizens of normal society...

Come on... there isn't anyone in this world who has time to chart my sanity or for that matter my insanity... (not talking about the Good God!)

Who cares... whether I punch, gym, drove high, put the ear-deaf music...

Whom on this earth we are trying to impress???

None, right... It’s better to be bitten for what u r… then to be appreciated for what u r not...

And people who matters KNOW u... so let the rest of the world… R.I.P....

There is a part inside all of us that likes to be totally crazy... totally geared up to full speed to wildness...

Let's get that part of the box to the platter...

Things I think... are really wacky … I know after a while I'll b glad I did them…Man I had guts to bite them.... that abnormal something of the society...

I might feel a bit dizzy or guilty... thinking about the people who care for me...or m answerable to...However the fact is... I want to do them...

I am a lil nut… here are the nuts I wanna grap...

1. Wanna shout at top of my voice till my throat swells....

2. Dance in the moonlight...

3. Sneaking out of home, spending whole night with friends...

4. Laugh till my stomach pains and eyes flow

5. Drive alone @ 2 in night on full speed on a highway...

6. Do some bike stunts.... wheelie stoppie, high stand, burn-out...

7. Paint my room myself with different colors...

8. Go on long drive say anywhere some 400-500 kms in open car… driving in turns…

9. Have a most perfect date, with candle-lit dinner and violins and belly dancers on a beach...

10. Whistle and clap in the movie hall to the fullest...

11. Laugh at any one passing by...

12. To live in a tree house...

13. Go camping, under the stars...

14. Watch the scariest movies in night show...

15. Go roaming around the world... Back-packer style...

16. Make a popat of a policewala...

17. Talking non-stop about nothing from day till night...

18. Putting Maggie all over my friends hair...

19. Making my friends sing Happy B'day like the typical school classroom style...

20. Opening a champagne and popping the cock on sum1's head!

wowo....

 (Few others, which I prefer keeping offline... :P)

List done, Fun Undone...

Cheers!!

Why Grass is Greener on other Side...

Food for thought...
So this long break has been pretty relaxing.... I have had the time to give some thought to things i wouldn't otherwise think about..maybe..I don't know...

I have often heard people (me being among those people) whine and complain about how the grass is always greener on the other side..is it really the case though???maybe???? I don't know...
When i was younger...much younger..say about 7 or 8 I would look at my parents and my elder sibling and want to be grown up...now I am 21...grown up, most people would agree....Is this really what i wanted when I was little? All these responsibilities and independence? At this point i think i would give a hand and a leg to go back to being 5 or 6 or even younger. Not have a worry in the world, get away with anything I do cause everyone else thinks it is cute...would't that be wonderful????

School....as I started to understand things...My dreamworld broke into pieces...I always disliked school for that initally...those big boring assemblies...those tests....P.T. sessions....ehhh....I hated the fact that I had to read the history book...then those big chemistry books later...uhh...I never wish to hold these books again in my life...But, as the years part by I started to enjoy the school....the teachers...the canteen rounds..those amazing group of friends whom you never wish to leave....On the farewell day...when I came back home...when I actually felt...its going to be over....At that point, I would give anything to just be in school forever....to be with those kind of friends forever...

Then my parents decided to send me to college and hostel followed.... I hated it when i was there. Couldn't wait to get the hell out of hostel that we often compared to a jail.... We hated the food, hated the routein, hated the warden, hated almost everything that was associated with it other than our friends. Finally I graduated this year and then I remember crying like the world was ending.... Suddenly the food seemed to be the best food ever, the teachers, our support system and friends of course are the best friends we will ever make....

Then for the last three months all I have ever wanted was to go back to hostel.... Its the same feeling of not wanting to grow up that I had when i left school.... I love it and I miss everything about the chats, the food, the music, the parties, the hang outs, the teachers, friends...everything, yet it seems like I could do with another year or two... I think it may be that I am not ready to let go....cause I don't know when I will ever see them again.... I am not trying to justify why I feel the way I feel rather i am just wondering if the grass once again seems to be greener on the other side...

That being said, I'm yet to have a job with Infosys and I have a year commitment to the corps, ofcourse if the training goes all gaga....eventhough its my dream job...again all I ever want to do is not to leave home and go off to Karnataka for months....knowing the fact that I might not be able to see some most b'utiful faces for a lifetime... Though, I know that when my commitment to the corps is over I will not want to leave.... My job will be tedious and I'll complain a lot about it but going by the record do I'll really want this to be over and to move on??? I am not sure...

Earlier this year when I was close to graduating I needed to figure out my life so I was looking for jobs and applying to different places on net... But as far by now you have even known, I was convinced that when I did find a job it would be very likely that I wouldn't want it.... In that case then it would be much simpler to just not stress about finding a job and figuring out my life since when I would have it i would not want it???? Yet i couldn't just not stress about it coz at that point in time thats all i wanted...isn't that ironic?

So, coming to think of it we humans are really silly...we spend our entire life running behind things we think we want yet when we have it we realize that that is not what we want.... In this quest for one things after another we fail to appreciate what we have some much beautiful colors at hand...happiness, relationships, friendships, our roots and the values that come with it..what not. How many times have we been there for a friend? How many times have we appreciated what we have that millions don't? How many times have we been thankful for a new day? How many times have we tolerated non sense from people that shouldn't matter yet paid no heed to those that care and in turn let go of a friendship, or a relationship? I may be be able to count these on one hand alone yet I have lost count of how often I have chased something I wanted and then not been happy when I have had it....
Appreciate and be thankful....

Thanks for reading...I appreciate your patience... :D

Recently Found...

TOP THREE WAYS TO BECOME FAMOUS........


In (vastly) decreasing order of effectiveness...

1.Be crazy.

2.Be bad.

3.Be good.

And this led me to this realization. I often hear that it's a crazy world. I am joining that club...

You are even welcome to join in........

These lyrics are awesome....I feel addicted when I hear this one.......M still High!!


It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, 
you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face
let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes
saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me
if ever I fall
You say it best
when you say nothing at all


All day long I can hear 
people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, 
you drown out the crowd
Try as they may they can never define
What's being said between your heart and mine


The smile on your face 
let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes 
saying you'll never leave me 
The touch of your hand says
you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best 
when you say nothing at all..

Isn't it just beautiful? You'll fall in luv........

What a Girl Really wants....

You know what really turns a girl on????? So what what your mind says....Kisses and hugs.... Temme if it has to be something.....  More than kisses more than hugs more than anything in this world.....Well, to tell you the fact it is - Honesty.

If you are in a relationship of any kind with a girl - friend, mother, sister, girl friend..anyone,if you are not yourself with her, if you are not honest with her you are gonna lose her respect if not her...

I say only respect and not her because girls have this weird habit of letting it go and giving another chance. For them the relationship is just too important to give up on you that easily...

Even if you go and make out with another girl, even if you are a drug addict, even if you bitched about her, even if you think that you need space, even if you think that she is too possessive..even if you are married to another woman..but you still want to be with her..just come and tell her! believe me she'd eventually forgive you and still love you as much. I mean I know guys who the world thinks can be the best catch, but the reality is they are the biggest jerks of all the times!!!

For God's sake always be honest with her! She expects you to share all your troubles with her. If she's told you that she loves you that automatically means that she's gonna listen to all your troubles and try and make you comfortable as best as she can. Once she has fallen in love with you trust me she has already stopped judging you!! So kindly have the courage to tell her what you truly feel and what blunders you have truly committed! She will scold you only because it hurts to see someone she loves in trouble. You know she'd find out the truth anyway. But if YOU go and tell her, you'd not only feel lighter but also will earn her respect!!!

Even if you are oh-not-so-cool dude, please dont try and act like one!! thats so bloody irritating!!

Plz "Be yourself".... I'd rather marry a simple shirt-pant vala honest guy who has the guts to be himself and accepts what he is than a wannabe dude with so called super cool ultra low waist jeans and chains or whatever u call those ugly things hanging around the belt but doesn't know shit about his roots and is too ashamed to accept that he is originally from, say, some small village near Ramgarh!!

I am not a feminist nor any "Lady Bheem" and well what ever I just said about how girls give another chance and everything might be true for boys too. Basically, the bottom line is I rather we all HATE LIARS and we even HATE PEOPLE WHO PRETEND!!!

Me v/s Myself

Happened before the dream last night...battle of me's and my'selves...

Me: I am tired....
Myself:  No, it is just the Monsoon humidity doing rounds...
Me: But it never happened to me before...
Myself: Yes, sitting in front of the computer without any exercise can do that to you...
Me: I should exercise! go to walk....

Myself: I have heard that one before, more than once actually!
Me: I think I will wake up early tomorrow...
Myself: LOL.
Me: I will. I am going to sleep early...
Myself: Just to exercise or for walking??
Me: No. I have to study too.
Myself: Oh yes, I almost forgot to remind you that your big day is less than 3 months away.
Me: I haven't forgotten but I have just not been able to make the time...(smug)
Myself: It is convenient to make reasons...
Me: Ok, I know I have been a loser.
Myself: But it is not too late. Don't give up in the  last lap....
Me: I am trying.....
Myself: No, you are not but you should. I know I can!
Me: Oh, in all this hopelessness, I have something to look forward to....
Myself: Going to shopping!!
Me: It might just be the break I need. But not exactly it...
Myself: Its meeting friend/s...nah...its confusia...
Me: What is the first thing you think I should do?
Myself: Get your priorities right.
Me: Ok, don't be so mean...

Myself: Isn't it hardwired in me?
Me: Yeah, yeah, but I want it no more now.
Myself: I will try not to be rude if you stick to our word.
Me: I AM TRYING....
Myself: Good. Now, go sleep. You have to wake up early tomorrow.
Me: Uh...Good Night..Sleep Tight..Sweet Dreams...All the Night...
Myself:Take the blanket over...
Me:No..I have to sleep over...
Myself:Your wish...
Me:Where is the Blanket?
Myself: Right there...
Me:Fine.Good Night now...shit...Gotto make a call...
Myself: Not now..
Me:Please..
Myself: No..sleep...gotto wake up early...
Me:(made call..no one picked!)...ehhhhhhh........GOOD NIGHT.....
Myself: :)
Me: (dreaming)!!!




Peace!!!

In Love with Ghost....

This one is strictly inspired by an unusual dream I had last night...yup!!! I dreamed of a Ghost...and the funniest part...I was in Love with Him/It (whatever....)...
In the late morning today...I actually thought how it will be to be in love with a Ghost...(like in movie Paheli...which I saw last weekend...on tv) and finally this is what I got from the thought....

Pros:
1. The best part....Your parents can never catch you with him, leave alone the aunties or uncles (whom you might not know but they can find you anywhere among thousands of people)...  because all he has to do is disappear....
2. Body odour and bad breath is NEVER an issue...
3. You don't have to worry about your love getting hurt in an accident (ghost -> already dead).
4. No problems with punctuality from your sweetsoul's end (no heart, remember)....
5. You don't need to be afraid of the dark anymore, your love's got excellent night vision...
6." Think of me, and I'll be there" really works in this case...
7. The 'walking through walls' ability saves you a lot of trouble when you lock yourself...
8. Always giving you small appearing surprises...
9. Can come to meet you anytime of day...and even in night... ;)
10.Even death cannot do you apart...

Cons:
1. Serious lack of privacy...
2. Lack of physical presence...
3. Cannot be introduced to your parents / friends / relatives / boss...
4. Annoying disappearing act in the middle of heated arguments...
5. Can't go for long walks during the day...
6. Can't play hide n seek...
7. You would never know if he's cheating on you, because he'd never smell of another woman's perfume...hehe...
8. You can't exactly break up, especially if he isn't willing to....
9. Poses a serious threat to your next lover....
10. Always worried about him passing over to the next world....


umm...what else is left to say..


Happy Ghosting.. :)

TRUST.........in RUST.........

In today's world where everything seems like a sham, trust has become a rare commodity... its very difficult to find someone to trust and its equally difficult to find someone who trusts you. So its obviously not just rare but valuable too. Or maybe not. Especially when its broken and assaulted by the very few people who you consider close to your heart.

Now all this jazzy shit aside, I wonder how one person starts believing or trusting the other. What is it that makes you trust someone? What is it that makes you accept that person without questioning their intentions?

Its like an extreme adventure sport, you don’t know what you are getting in to till you come out all fine, or otherwise for that matter. You expose the most vulnerable feelings, emotions, secrets and all that stuff - with full confidence in that person that it wont come back to haunt you. Unknowingly and unintentionally, you are gearing other people to take advantage of you... while you expect and believe that it wont happen.

Now why do we humans do that?? Like why do we believe that someone is good enough to be "THAT" person who will keep your trust safe and will not break it at the drop of a hat??

Neat - ain't it... like a vicious circle - unless u fall, u will not know if the person you "TRUST" will save you. But unless you trust someone, you wont try falling... and if that trust is broken, you will fall n hurt pretty effectively.

So when do you know that someone is not being a friend or depending on you as a friend, but is instead manipulating your trust in them? Where do you draw that line and say - till u don cross that line, I will not let my ego rise but beyond this line, its my self respect that I must save? Is there really something like a selfless friendship or is it just a myth... cuz then we all should stick only to people who care and love us back equally. NO???

I have Never....................

I have never had a slim waist....(I tried many a times though!!!)....I've never danced till my heart content.....I've never met a Big movie star..... I've never had make up on....I'v never built sand castles.....I'v never build even a snowman......I'v never worn pencil heels....I'v never had hard drinks....I'v never won a contenst on radio or t.v.....I'v never liked too fancy sounding food.... I'v never danced atop a table..... I'v never been to a club.... I'v never driven a car..... I'v never stayed home alone all night.....I'v never starved myself (like d'oh).....I'v never swim in sea....I'v never been teacher's pet....I'v never stayed in a hospital.....I'v never had perfect hairs....I'v never made a good sketch...I'v never painted my nails with vague colors.... I'v never gone trekking.....I'v never got married...I'v never gone hunting....I'v never gone fishing.....I'v never been on a real ship.....I'v never seen a live match.... I'v never gotten stuck in an elevator with someone.....I'v never witnessed a fairytale.... I'v never gone rolling downhill on grass..... I'v never been abroad.....I'v never been to the southernmost tip of India...... I'v never topped a class..... I'v never had pets....I'v never worn a real short dress..... I'v never punched or hit someone.....I'v never felt extremely intelligent..... I'v never done black magic......I'v never been fitted in my sister's clothes....I'v never been able to finish my lunch on time....I'v never shouted at top of my voice....I'v never been too funny..... I'v never watched f.r.i.e.n.d.s..... I'v never stayed in an old mansion..... I'v never seen a gun for real.....I'v never coloured my hair....I'v never seen a dog eat homework.....

See! You, me and us. We'r ordinary people. Never must you feel that your life has been a black and white boring movie. Because, have no fear, Upasana is here. Her movie is an Oscar nominee for the black and white boring movie category :) Smile now.


But, I may have never done this that, but I have made people their ownselves with me.... I'm content :))


PS: If you wish to do this as a post on your blog, I won't call you a copy cat. Go ahead. Spread my awesomeness. Wheeeee!

13 Random things About Me!!!

"About Me".... if asked in an interview I would definitely drench my mind thinking what the interviewer wants to hear.... But...actually what About Me.... I often found it difficult to answer this question.... what we all say....I'm 21 years...studies this that...and all that traditional blah blah.......But still we need to discover many things about ourselves....Here is my try!!!

Why 13.... well I'm born on 13th and many things are attached to it...which I'll probably write some other day...for the time being..."13 random things ABOUT ME"

1. I absolutly love my family...Indeed, God has choosen the best for me...I couldn't have ask for anything better than this!!!

Love u Ma, Pa and Di...

2.I adore my girlfriends and nothing can dare change that....There are certain things that only girls can understand eventhough most of my friends are men...and they are the best thing that have happen to me....

3.I think I'm independent...But I don't do a thing without telling it to ma or di or any of my friend....That's the way I'm...

4.I love to be pampered...I'm emotionally quite high-maintainance...I don't demand diamonds or presents...for that matter not even chocolates or flowers...All I want is time and attention...

5.I'm religious and spiritual but hate it when its imposed on me!!! 

6.If time and money are not a problem...I'll Love to explore the world...length to breadth...and do craziest of adventures.........

7.Now a days..I can stay up all night writting, watching movies doing whatever but when i have to study i feel like staying up is the hardest thing to do. I probably wake up early in the morning to hole those books........

8.Gold.........eheh.....I just don't like it....agree that old is Gold...but Gold is so old....u might think...Diamonds...but Diamonds are not my best friends atleast....

9.I try to prepare myself for the worst in every situation...that's a pessimist in me....but I have a firm belive in the Almighty... In short, I'm a "Opssimist"...

10.I hate it when people are upset because of me or at me. It drives me nuts and in my attempt to have them not mad at me or because of me i tend to get on their nerves, i think....

11. I get attached very easily and have a heartache later on... Thats a bad bad bad thing. I wish everytime i said "I dont care" i really didn't care but its just the opposite :(

12. I love my school...am glad my parents send me there...my college..well it was a trailer of the real world...

13.Thanks to my last visit to Barista...I have developed a fetish for good coffee...no doubt I'm a gourmet....

umm.................still not all....one can never have enough of one's ownself....

To sum up....I like to be free as a bird and intrepid like a lioness...but  at the same time I'm very integrated and grounded...I'm an Ambivert an Aquarian with a difference.......

.

Happy reading....... :)