Crazy till 25...

Well... after I wrote "A Look Back"... I actually thought it only two more year to 25… just two more… why not live the way I wanna live it… crazily...

Upasana: 'U r crazy', my friends often call me! That's the most interesting part doing unpredictable weirdo wale things...

Doing the things we actually want to do...

If u ask me.. I am actually fed up from the way "how I am supposed to live"... Illusion living that not just me but everyone creates... we all… in order to act/behave like "normal" citizens of normal society...

Come on... there isn't anyone in this world who has time to chart my sanity or for that matter my insanity... (not talking about the Good God!)

Who cares... whether I punch, gym, drove high, put the ear-deaf music...

Whom on this earth we are trying to impress???

None, right... It’s better to be bitten for what u r… then to be appreciated for what u r not...

And people who matters KNOW u... so let the rest of the world… R.I.P....

There is a part inside all of us that likes to be totally crazy... totally geared up to full speed to wildness...

Let's get that part of the box to the platter...

Things I think... are really wacky … I know after a while I'll b glad I did them…Man I had guts to bite them.... that abnormal something of the society...

I might feel a bit dizzy or guilty... thinking about the people who care for me...or m answerable to...However the fact is... I want to do them...

I am a lil nut… here are the nuts I wanna grap...

1. Wanna shout at top of my voice till my throat swells....

2. Dance in the moonlight...

3. Sneaking out of home, spending whole night with friends...

4. Laugh till my stomach pains and eyes flow

5. Drive alone @ 2 in night on full speed on a highway...

6. Do some bike stunts.... wheelie stoppie, high stand, burn-out...

7. Paint my room myself with different colors...

8. Go on long drive say anywhere some 400-500 kms in open car… driving in turns…

9. Have a most perfect date, with candle-lit dinner and violins and belly dancers on a beach...

10. Whistle and clap in the movie hall to the fullest...

11. Laugh at any one passing by...

12. To live in a tree house...

13. Go camping, under the stars...

14. Watch the scariest movies in night show...

15. Go roaming around the world... Back-packer style...

16. Make a popat of a policewala...

17. Talking non-stop about nothing from day till night...

18. Putting Maggie all over my friends hair...

19. Making my friends sing Happy B'day like the typical school classroom style...

20. Opening a champagne and popping the cock on sum1's head!

wowo....

 (Few others, which I prefer keeping offline... :P)

List done, Fun Undone...

Cheers!!

Regret......

Sometimes in life we become so blindfolded about things that we love and run after, that we forget to see in what ways is it corrupting us……and at the end of it all, we never find the things we were actually running after, because it was never ours anyway, but we end up becoming something that we were actually not.

So one fine day when we realize that a wild goose chase has done us no good, it has infact consumed all our energy and vibrancy, it has made us do bad to people who actually cared, who were there with us all along, but we never noticed them because we took them for granted in this maddening chase, we realize that they all have already moved too far, and you are left with nothing, no energy, vibrancy or trust from people who actually cared.

So what do you do then?

Apologize to people whom you have hurt badly?

That won’t be the solution I guess…..

the best thing possible that could be done now is to pave the way that you broke while running, putting each stone step by step, making sure that nobody ever falls again from the road of trust that you have built.

And maybe that would be the best thing that you could do for people who actually cared.

Amen!!

Start Over Again....

In love with the Addison Road songs...they are so true and touchy and at the same time encouraging and uplifting...hands off for the b'utiful lyrics....

Open up your eyes
Awake, arise
Love like a hand reaches down
And pulls us up from the dirty ground

Now is the time
To step from the dark into the light
Cause you can’t change what you’ve done
But you can choose who you’ll become

(CHORUS)
Every moment is a second chance
At starting over, at starting over
Move from the past to the present tense
You can start over, start over again

If you feel ashamed
Of the choices that you’ve made
You can be whole again
And return to your innocence

(CHORUS)
Every moment is a second chance
At starting over, at starting over
Move from the past to the present tense
You can start over, start over again

Yesterday is gone

Today is all you’ve got

You don’t have to be who you’ve been

You can change within

It’s never too late

To start over again

(CHORUS)

Every moment is a second chance

At starting over, at starting over

Move from the past to the present tense

You can start over, start over again

What Are PROBLEMS????

Life….Life is full of problems…each one among has some problem or other. And each and every problem of ours’ seems to be a big hurdle to us. Everyone among us is fighting a battle every day in some way. Imagine life without problems, it will be utopia… ah! Perfect life… but perfection is so boring… Problems make us alive!

So, what basically is P.R.O.B.L.E.M.S?

Predictors: They help mold our future.

Reminders: We are not self- sufficient. We need good and others to help.

Opportunities: They pull us out of our root and cause us to think creatively.

Blessings: They open up doors we usually don’t go through.

Lessons: Each new challenge will be our teacher.

Everywhere: No place or person is excluded from them.

Messages: They warn us about potential disaster.

Solvable: No problem is without a solution.



What all in can say is…

Life is a twister…Accept it... Bear it… Live it... When problems smile at you… Give them your best smile…!!!


Keep Smiling... :)

Toast....

... to today that feels like new pleasant first day of Spring...

... to the perfectly imperfect girl who wants change...

... to Ma for all the nagging and that morning’s inadvertant push...which has been fruitful now....

... to the crap song that I seem to like....

... to the new lifestyle-denoting acronym which isn’t one anymore....

... to the rediscovered colouring book and my poems....

... to the starred email in my inbox, typed with “Infy”....

... to the “bestest” friend who should be on a gondola at sunset under the Bridge of Sighs right now...

... to the recharge battery who owes me a big hot chocolate fudge for this...

... to the “full-time friend”, my telepathic co-pilot with the Midnight Phone Call syndrome...

... to 2 o’ clock nights...
I offer no explanation, but I am very kicked, zinged,verved....
I’ve wanted to start afresh for a very long time....

So, I do...all garbage OUT...

Why Grass is Greener on other Side...

Food for thought...
So this long break has been pretty relaxing.... I have had the time to give some thought to things i wouldn't otherwise think about..maybe..I don't know...

I have often heard people (me being among those people) whine and complain about how the grass is always greener on the other side..is it really the case though???maybe???? I don't know...
When i was younger...much younger..say about 7 or 8 I would look at my parents and my elder sibling and want to be grown up...now I am 21...grown up, most people would agree....Is this really what i wanted when I was little? All these responsibilities and independence? At this point i think i would give a hand and a leg to go back to being 5 or 6 or even younger. Not have a worry in the world, get away with anything I do cause everyone else thinks it is cute...would't that be wonderful????

School....as I started to understand things...My dreamworld broke into pieces...I always disliked school for that initally...those big boring assemblies...those tests....P.T. sessions....ehhh....I hated the fact that I had to read the history book...then those big chemistry books later...uhh...I never wish to hold these books again in my life...But, as the years part by I started to enjoy the school....the teachers...the canteen rounds..those amazing group of friends whom you never wish to leave....On the farewell day...when I came back home...when I actually felt...its going to be over....At that point, I would give anything to just be in school forever....to be with those kind of friends forever...

Then my parents decided to send me to college and hostel followed.... I hated it when i was there. Couldn't wait to get the hell out of hostel that we often compared to a jail.... We hated the food, hated the routein, hated the warden, hated almost everything that was associated with it other than our friends. Finally I graduated this year and then I remember crying like the world was ending.... Suddenly the food seemed to be the best food ever, the teachers, our support system and friends of course are the best friends we will ever make....

Then for the last three months all I have ever wanted was to go back to hostel.... Its the same feeling of not wanting to grow up that I had when i left school.... I love it and I miss everything about the chats, the food, the music, the parties, the hang outs, the teachers, friends...everything, yet it seems like I could do with another year or two... I think it may be that I am not ready to let go....cause I don't know when I will ever see them again.... I am not trying to justify why I feel the way I feel rather i am just wondering if the grass once again seems to be greener on the other side...

That being said, I'm yet to have a job with Infosys and I have a year commitment to the corps, ofcourse if the training goes all gaga....eventhough its my dream job...again all I ever want to do is not to leave home and go off to Karnataka for months....knowing the fact that I might not be able to see some most b'utiful faces for a lifetime... Though, I know that when my commitment to the corps is over I will not want to leave.... My job will be tedious and I'll complain a lot about it but going by the record do I'll really want this to be over and to move on??? I am not sure...

Earlier this year when I was close to graduating I needed to figure out my life so I was looking for jobs and applying to different places on net... But as far by now you have even known, I was convinced that when I did find a job it would be very likely that I wouldn't want it.... In that case then it would be much simpler to just not stress about finding a job and figuring out my life since when I would have it i would not want it???? Yet i couldn't just not stress about it coz at that point in time thats all i wanted...isn't that ironic?

So, coming to think of it we humans are really silly...we spend our entire life running behind things we think we want yet when we have it we realize that that is not what we want.... In this quest for one things after another we fail to appreciate what we have some much beautiful colors at hand...happiness, relationships, friendships, our roots and the values that come with it..what not. How many times have we been there for a friend? How many times have we appreciated what we have that millions don't? How many times have we been thankful for a new day? How many times have we tolerated non sense from people that shouldn't matter yet paid no heed to those that care and in turn let go of a friendship, or a relationship? I may be be able to count these on one hand alone yet I have lost count of how often I have chased something I wanted and then not been happy when I have had it....
Appreciate and be thankful....

Thanks for reading...I appreciate your patience... :D

Who will Cry when you cry...

Have you ever thought and thought over something so much, that it hurt??????
So much so ,that it leaves you staring at the ceiling wondering if you're on the verge of going insane........ Sometimes all you see is all pervading madness around you, even though its ironically just confined to the realms of your head. You've tried looking at things with an open-mind so much so that you feel that your head's almost falling apart from all that open-ness.....

You feel like you're losing it and are dying for some perspective....
Any perspective, as long as its not yours b'coz you've had too much of that and it actually kills you....
You start to act all clandestine hoping that someone picks up signals and listens to what you're not saying....
Sometimes that doesn't really work, so you try to reach out to you're friends and talk to them, ask them if you are losing it after all, without having them be all judgmental and think that you're on a one way trip to banana-land..
But it isn't all that easy finding a listener, is it????
Who do you confide in? Not all you're million friends are listeners.

The difference between the both hits you like a bus on the road now....... Problems in life aren't rare, so everyone may not be particularly generous in sympathizing with you. You don't blame them though- after all, to each his problem..... You therefore start convincing yourself into not making a big deal out of this and just wait patiently till your head stops spinning. Which it doesn't.....So you just wait, for nothing actually....
Yet amidst all this, someone finds you- a friend, a not-so friend, a random guy who sat beside you on the white bench at the park, someone on your friend's list you haven't struck a conversation with, someone you don't know..... Someone you have absolutely no pretensions with, someone who makes you just split wide open, someone you can just talk to- without the slightest iota fear or shame, someone who breaks the dam, someone who thinks and puts your perspective in place..... Someone who's like a ray of light in that tunnel.....Someone who listens.....

Things that scared you all this while now start to make some sense, if not all, with a lil bit of help from someone.... Any someone....
The clarity you missed all this while brings a smile to your face, You feel like its rained on your garden after years.... You know that it is possible to share some things with some people and not end up feeling like a fool at the end of it.
And suddenly life doesn't seem all that bad..... Life isnt really all that bad come to think of it.
Its all about finding someone though.....just that SOMEONE!!!

RANDOM...

Childhood…well, my childhood was amazing… caring and most adorable parents…protective elder sister…when I still look at those photographs I can make out that everyone in the family loved me from the very start…I myself remember some foggy images of that times…seriously childhood was fun… when what you care the most in the world is for your ma’s arms, your father’s shoulder and dancing with your sister, having your beloveds around always to pamper you…


My grandmother was the most generous lady I ever saw…I have never even saw getting more older… just few white hairs and some wrinkles as I remembered…always hymning some bhajan which was melodious indeed…but the lyrics seemed so tough I never cared to remember them though… but she always tried with a kind smile to teach us the verse… I have seen for years like this simply beautiful…may be people used to bless her with such prayers… she was one of her kind…

When she expired I was so tender to know what had happened…. Why everyone around was crying… I was crying just because ma was crying… I actually couldn’t understand that thing at that moment…I understand it now and it’s very sad…

I saw none like her now…she was wonderful….

I never said her but I guess...she would have known… I love u… we all do…

These lyrics are awesome....I feel addicted when I hear this one.......M still High!!


It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, 
you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face
let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes
saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me
if ever I fall
You say it best
when you say nothing at all


All day long I can hear 
people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, 
you drown out the crowd
Try as they may they can never define
What's being said between your heart and mine


The smile on your face 
let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes 
saying you'll never leave me 
The touch of your hand says
you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best 
when you say nothing at all..

Isn't it just beautiful? You'll fall in luv........

What a Girl Really wants....

You know what really turns a girl on????? So what what your mind says....Kisses and hugs.... Temme if it has to be something.....  More than kisses more than hugs more than anything in this world.....Well, to tell you the fact it is - Honesty.

If you are in a relationship of any kind with a girl - friend, mother, sister, girl friend..anyone,if you are not yourself with her, if you are not honest with her you are gonna lose her respect if not her...

I say only respect and not her because girls have this weird habit of letting it go and giving another chance. For them the relationship is just too important to give up on you that easily...

Even if you go and make out with another girl, even if you are a drug addict, even if you bitched about her, even if you think that you need space, even if you think that she is too possessive..even if you are married to another woman..but you still want to be with her..just come and tell her! believe me she'd eventually forgive you and still love you as much. I mean I know guys who the world thinks can be the best catch, but the reality is they are the biggest jerks of all the times!!!

For God's sake always be honest with her! She expects you to share all your troubles with her. If she's told you that she loves you that automatically means that she's gonna listen to all your troubles and try and make you comfortable as best as she can. Once she has fallen in love with you trust me she has already stopped judging you!! So kindly have the courage to tell her what you truly feel and what blunders you have truly committed! She will scold you only because it hurts to see someone she loves in trouble. You know she'd find out the truth anyway. But if YOU go and tell her, you'd not only feel lighter but also will earn her respect!!!

Even if you are oh-not-so-cool dude, please dont try and act like one!! thats so bloody irritating!!

Plz "Be yourself".... I'd rather marry a simple shirt-pant vala honest guy who has the guts to be himself and accepts what he is than a wannabe dude with so called super cool ultra low waist jeans and chains or whatever u call those ugly things hanging around the belt but doesn't know shit about his roots and is too ashamed to accept that he is originally from, say, some small village near Ramgarh!!

I am not a feminist nor any "Lady Bheem" and well what ever I just said about how girls give another chance and everything might be true for boys too. Basically, the bottom line is I rather we all HATE LIARS and we even HATE PEOPLE WHO PRETEND!!!

Actually....

You lie so cutely, I don't even feel like breaking it to you that I know abt it.
IN FACT, I enjoy it!!!!! :D

That's the best part of it....

**music playing in the background (on radio...) while I write this.... Tum mile to jaadu chaa gaya....tum mile to jeena agaya...tum mile to maine paya h khuda............**

On a totally different note,
 Who breaks our heart???? One amongst us.... right????
And who can heal it with love and care???? Again one amongst us....
Our little world is so self-reliant. We only need to put together correct combinations...... But..... before you reach a state where you have all the correct combinations in the world you might get n(n-1)-n/2 incorrect ones, n being the number of hearts,
But the good news is there is an upper limit to the number of incorrections........

In short, hope prevails.....let it.....

Proud to be an Indian.......

Since, Yesterday was Independence Day,I ponder on Things we should know about our India...There are many things about this beautiful country that we still don't know....here are few of them...you can add up  things that you think I left...I know I have left many....

The official Sanskrit name for India is Bharat. INDIA has been called Bharat even in Satya yuga ( Golden Age ) More interesting facts about India

• The name `India’ is derived from the River Indus, the valleys around which were the home of the early settlers. 
•  The Persian invaders converted it into Hindu. The name `Hindustan’ combines Sindhu and Hindu and thus refers to the land of the Hindus.
• The number system was invented by India. Aryabhatta was the scientist who invented the digit zero.
• Sanskrit is considered as the mother of all higher languages. This is because it is the most precise, and therefore suitable language for computer software. 
• Chess was invented in India.
• Algebra, Trigonometry and Calculus are studies which originated in India.
• The' place value system' and the 'decimal system' were developed in 100 BC in India.
• 
  
• The first six Mogul Emperor's of India ruled in an unbroken succession from father to son for two hundred years, from 1526 to 1707.
• The World's First Granite Temple is the Brihadeswara temple at Tanjavur in Tamil Nadu. The shikhara is made from a single ' 80-tonne ' piece of granite. Also, this magnificient temple was built in just five years, (between 1004 AD and 1009 AD)  during the reign of Rajaraja Chola
• India is the Largest democracy in the world, the 6th largest country in the world and one of the most ancient and living civilizations (at least 10, 000 years old). 
• The game of snakes, ladders was created by the 13th century poet saint Gyandev. It was originally called  'Mokshapat.' The ladders in the game represented virtues and the snakes indicated vices. The game was played with cowrie shells and dices. Later through time,  the game underwent several modifications but the meaning is the same i.e good deeds take us to heaven and evil to a cycle of re-births.
• The world's highest cricket ground is in Chail, Himachal Pradesh. Built in 1893 after levelling a hilltop, this cricket pitch is 2444 meters above sea level.
• The World's first university was established in Takshila in 700 BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.
• Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to mankind. The father of medicine, Charaka, consolidated Ayurveda 2500 years ago.
• Although modern images & descriptions of India often show poverty, India was one of the richest countries till the time of British in the early 17th Century. 

• The art of Navigation & Navigating was born in the river Sindh 6000 over years ago. The very word 'Navigation' is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH. The word navy is also derived from the Sanskrit word 'Nou'.
• Bhaskaracharya rightly calculated the time taken by the earth to orbit the sun hundreds of years before the astronomer Smart. His calculations was - Time taken by earth to orbit the sun: ( 5th century ) 365.258756484 days.
• The value of "pi" was first calculated by the Indian Mathematician Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is known as the Pythagorean Theorem. He discovered this in the 6th century, which was long before the European mathematicians.
• Algebra, trigonometry and calculus also orignated from India.  Quadratic equations were used by Sridharacharya in the 11th century. The largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Hindus used numbers as big as 10*53 ( i.e 10 to the power of 53 ) with specific names as early as 5000 B.C.  during the Vedic period.  Even today, the largest used number is Tera: 10*12( 10 to the power of 12 ).
•  Until 1896, India was the only source for diamonds to the world. ( Source . Gemological Institute of America )
• The Baily Bridge is the highest bridge in the world. It is located in the Ladakh valley between the Dras and Suru rivers in the Himalayan mountains. It was built by the Indian Army in August 1982.
• Usage of anesthesia was well known in ancient India medicine. Detailed knowledge of anatomy, embryology, digestion, metabolism,  physiology, etiology, genetics and immunity is also found in many ancient Indian texts.

Facts to make every Indian proud

Q. Who is the co-founder of Sun Microsystems?

A. Vinod Khosla




A. Vinod Dahm

Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?

Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?

A. Sabeer Bhatia

Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?

A. Arun Netravalli

Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard?

A. Rajiv Gupta

Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?

A. Sanjay Tejwrika

Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?

A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.

Q. Who is the co-founder of USB?
A.Ajay Batt.






I hope it was an add up to your knowledge......
Happy Independence Day.... :)

A Let-ter to LOVE...

Dear Love,

I hear you have been busy. I don't know if you know but you have recently visited (or in some case revisited) some of my friends and infected them with the affliction that they don't understand. How can they feel self assured with your presence in their life if they can't comprehend you?

If they can't find assurance themselves, they look towards their friends, ordinary people like me, who to say the least can only give them a third person's perspective on the whole issue. How can a third person give a perspective on how love should be? How can anyone define it? Isn't it unique to every two people who are or have ever been in love? The irony is that they think you have to be understood before they can embrace you, while it is the embrace that brings the understanding.

On another note, the more I hear of you, the more I wonder what makes you tick in the hearts of people. Why a person chooses another can never be fully explained by anyone, including the two souls involved. It'll be interesting to know your modus operandi some day. Why don't you write an autobiography and tell us your story?

Since I know what you mean to me, everything I have written here may be coloured with my experiences, no matter how much objectivity I try to retain in my words. But at the end, I know, you who none understands, will understand.

Yours Sincerely,

The Confused Reality

TRUST.........in RUST.........

In today's world where everything seems like a sham, trust has become a rare commodity... its very difficult to find someone to trust and its equally difficult to find someone who trusts you. So its obviously not just rare but valuable too. Or maybe not. Especially when its broken and assaulted by the very few people who you consider close to your heart.

Now all this jazzy shit aside, I wonder how one person starts believing or trusting the other. What is it that makes you trust someone? What is it that makes you accept that person without questioning their intentions?

Its like an extreme adventure sport, you don’t know what you are getting in to till you come out all fine, or otherwise for that matter. You expose the most vulnerable feelings, emotions, secrets and all that stuff - with full confidence in that person that it wont come back to haunt you. Unknowingly and unintentionally, you are gearing other people to take advantage of you... while you expect and believe that it wont happen.

Now why do we humans do that?? Like why do we believe that someone is good enough to be "THAT" person who will keep your trust safe and will not break it at the drop of a hat??

Neat - ain't it... like a vicious circle - unless u fall, u will not know if the person you "TRUST" will save you. But unless you trust someone, you wont try falling... and if that trust is broken, you will fall n hurt pretty effectively.

So when do you know that someone is not being a friend or depending on you as a friend, but is instead manipulating your trust in them? Where do you draw that line and say - till u don cross that line, I will not let my ego rise but beyond this line, its my self respect that I must save? Is there really something like a selfless friendship or is it just a myth... cuz then we all should stick only to people who care and love us back equally. NO???

Results and Emotions..........

Yep!! result came...after a much wait.....infact me n a friend were just discussing about the date of result's announcement and just after a while we came to know that result have actually came..........
Finally....Became an engineer.............a graduate........................
umm........got 82%...expected around 84%...thanks to my HOD....he didnt gave our project enough marks....reason........



REWIND BACK...........
A day of our Project presentation.........
Since morning we guys were waiting for our turn....our was the last roll no thats too in second section B......
Firstly presentation of section A started at 9am.......our dear HOD was sitting and was screwing every kid....seeing each and every project in detail and with interest.....counting of section was about to reach the end...and HOD vanished for lunch or meeting or whatever at 1pm
No probs...it was quite a relaxation for may students...as teacher superseded and things flighted again at 02pm.....section A got completed....section B started and things were under control no pressure at until HOD arrived at 4:50pm..........just 3 rnoz. before ours.........
We all went under the hyper-tension...he started pin pointing mistakes...in the third last rno. project file...which could have been ignored as most of the students did the same things....My heart-beat started off like a rajdhani express.....I was feeling so cold...even though...the AC of our Computer lab never worked...I could still feeling chilly.......

Next roll no. went off....and just because he had a introduction of 2 page...instead of 1.5 page...he was asked to leave....at that very moment I got that sinking feeling....my partner was supportive but we both knew what was coming.....
4:55pm.....our turn.......nervously we wished our HOD good evening...even in the depths I was knowing it isn't good.....rather its far away from good.........its going to be the worse then ever..........I was praying that he might just disappear...or I get invisible........while thinking this at back of my mind...I sat just before him with my partner.... The very next words even proved it when he said those lines to a teacher near by..."how many students are left...wined up quickly...I haven't had lunch...its about to be 5:00 pm... I have to go back home..."


 I knew the worst has come...he's gonna take us off in a hip-nip and their goes the tonnes of toil and hard work and sleepless nights of my innocent partner...(you might be thinking why only my partner...that part will come later....) so when the teacher said "these are the only ones left (to be eaten up...)"....With his "Dracula Smile" " he asked the title of the project and he didn't even saw the file leave alone the project....and said some blah blah...and finally asked us to leave........I saw the clock.............dot 5:00pm.....I just felt like saying that F word for him...bloody loser.....

Just because he has to go home...we who were waiting since morning were just skipped in few seconds........
Then...what I came out was a saddest face and the blame game started between me and my partner....what was next...I was saw afraid that my 150 no. of project has gone off to the coffin....and all my anger got loose on my partner...even though he was the one who was feeling hurt..as it was all his work..he had spend days n nights on it....and I was just their for the namesake.....This feeling left me with intense abash....why was I blaming him...when there was only one person to be blamed....the one who wanted to risk our noz....just because it was 5:00pm...all the matter to him was to go home...........Bullshit on him......
I gathered up myself.....wiped the tears off my face...and put on the masked portrait smile....to make up to my partner....who needed the support more than me......

 Then the drama of searching for an approach followed....but all in vain...my partner...even got one....but I haven't got any...and I keep on taunting him on that....I know I shouldn't have...I didn't deserved any of it....But, I was doing it for no damn good reason...It was not ME....it was not me being all selfish.....no just ME......cannot be ME...............


PRESENT TIME.....
Anyways....time passed...and the result came...I was not happy with 82%... I was expecting around 84%....I saw my noz........all theory paper were superb...all the practical scores were good...but my project................got just 113....from the the rest of the class which scored anything b/w 130 to 147... just 20 no. more which could be easily achieved...if the HOD wanted......but....kick his butt....
Neways......Then I saw my partner's noz.........shit man........even he got the same 113....... no approach worked.........at that moment I remembered all the taunting and all the blames i throwed on him...for no good reason.....That moment I felt that "kash uski approach lag gayi hoti...he actually deserved it......"
But as they say....
words once said cannot be taken back...so use them well.............and use them wisely....

Even now I feel like crying...but I'll not...I just don't want to talk to anyone...I want just me.......and someone to listen...but this was no time to pour yourself out...as everyone is going to their own set of emotions.....
Thanks to the rains....they came down just in time for me.........
Seriously...m in love with rains...they fill you right through............................
Thanks to the Blog....it is better to have with you...when u actually want to have a someone to listen...It doesn't judge you...nor make faces...nor give advices...it just takes in what ever you write..............................
Whatever.......I completed my degree and I'm finally a Graduate....Its a BIG DAY...........and finally , happy..............Muaaaaaaaah.........

In short....Krishn ji ka lakh lakh dhanyawad..........since i was not even expecting that much in project....and waise be...Bhagwan ji jo kuch be kartr h aache k liye hi krte h..as my muma say it............I learned my lesson..............................

Happy Blogging..........................,,. 

Finally... :) after such a sad post.........................m smiling full-tuk........ :))

P.S. Plz don't ask any question regarding this post..........I had to vent it out so I did.............BTW...m happy now...that what matters..........