Crazy till 25...

Well... after I wrote "A Look Back"... I actually thought it only two more year to 25… just two more… why not live the way I wanna live it… crazily...

Upasana: 'U r crazy', my friends often call me! That's the most interesting part doing unpredictable weirdo wale things...

Doing the things we actually want to do...

If u ask me.. I am actually fed up from the way "how I am supposed to live"... Illusion living that not just me but everyone creates... we all… in order to act/behave like "normal" citizens of normal society...

Come on... there isn't anyone in this world who has time to chart my sanity or for that matter my insanity... (not talking about the Good God!)

Who cares... whether I punch, gym, drove high, put the ear-deaf music...

Whom on this earth we are trying to impress???

None, right... It’s better to be bitten for what u r… then to be appreciated for what u r not...

And people who matters KNOW u... so let the rest of the world… R.I.P....

There is a part inside all of us that likes to be totally crazy... totally geared up to full speed to wildness...

Let's get that part of the box to the platter...

Things I think... are really wacky … I know after a while I'll b glad I did them…Man I had guts to bite them.... that abnormal something of the society...

I might feel a bit dizzy or guilty... thinking about the people who care for me...or m answerable to...However the fact is... I want to do them...

I am a lil nut… here are the nuts I wanna grap...

1. Wanna shout at top of my voice till my throat swells....

2. Dance in the moonlight...

3. Sneaking out of home, spending whole night with friends...

4. Laugh till my stomach pains and eyes flow

5. Drive alone @ 2 in night on full speed on a highway...

6. Do some bike stunts.... wheelie stoppie, high stand, burn-out...

7. Paint my room myself with different colors...

8. Go on long drive say anywhere some 400-500 kms in open car… driving in turns…

9. Have a most perfect date, with candle-lit dinner and violins and belly dancers on a beach...

10. Whistle and clap in the movie hall to the fullest...

11. Laugh at any one passing by...

12. To live in a tree house...

13. Go camping, under the stars...

14. Watch the scariest movies in night show...

15. Go roaming around the world... Back-packer style...

16. Make a popat of a policewala...

17. Talking non-stop about nothing from day till night...

18. Putting Maggie all over my friends hair...

19. Making my friends sing Happy B'day like the typical school classroom style...

20. Opening a champagne and popping the cock on sum1's head!

wowo....

 (Few others, which I prefer keeping offline... :P)

List done, Fun Undone...

Cheers!!

Regret......

Sometimes in life we become so blindfolded about things that we love and run after, that we forget to see in what ways is it corrupting us……and at the end of it all, we never find the things we were actually running after, because it was never ours anyway, but we end up becoming something that we were actually not.

So one fine day when we realize that a wild goose chase has done us no good, it has infact consumed all our energy and vibrancy, it has made us do bad to people who actually cared, who were there with us all along, but we never noticed them because we took them for granted in this maddening chase, we realize that they all have already moved too far, and you are left with nothing, no energy, vibrancy or trust from people who actually cared.

So what do you do then?

Apologize to people whom you have hurt badly?

That won’t be the solution I guess…..

the best thing possible that could be done now is to pave the way that you broke while running, putting each stone step by step, making sure that nobody ever falls again from the road of trust that you have built.

And maybe that would be the best thing that you could do for people who actually cared.

Amen!!

What a Girl Really wants....

You know what really turns a girl on????? So what what your mind says....Kisses and hugs.... Temme if it has to be something.....  More than kisses more than hugs more than anything in this world.....Well, to tell you the fact it is - Honesty.

If you are in a relationship of any kind with a girl - friend, mother, sister, girl friend..anyone,if you are not yourself with her, if you are not honest with her you are gonna lose her respect if not her...

I say only respect and not her because girls have this weird habit of letting it go and giving another chance. For them the relationship is just too important to give up on you that easily...

Even if you go and make out with another girl, even if you are a drug addict, even if you bitched about her, even if you think that you need space, even if you think that she is too possessive..even if you are married to another woman..but you still want to be with her..just come and tell her! believe me she'd eventually forgive you and still love you as much. I mean I know guys who the world thinks can be the best catch, but the reality is they are the biggest jerks of all the times!!!

For God's sake always be honest with her! She expects you to share all your troubles with her. If she's told you that she loves you that automatically means that she's gonna listen to all your troubles and try and make you comfortable as best as she can. Once she has fallen in love with you trust me she has already stopped judging you!! So kindly have the courage to tell her what you truly feel and what blunders you have truly committed! She will scold you only because it hurts to see someone she loves in trouble. You know she'd find out the truth anyway. But if YOU go and tell her, you'd not only feel lighter but also will earn her respect!!!

Even if you are oh-not-so-cool dude, please dont try and act like one!! thats so bloody irritating!!

Plz "Be yourself".... I'd rather marry a simple shirt-pant vala honest guy who has the guts to be himself and accepts what he is than a wannabe dude with so called super cool ultra low waist jeans and chains or whatever u call those ugly things hanging around the belt but doesn't know shit about his roots and is too ashamed to accept that he is originally from, say, some small village near Ramgarh!!

I am not a feminist nor any "Lady Bheem" and well what ever I just said about how girls give another chance and everything might be true for boys too. Basically, the bottom line is I rather we all HATE LIARS and we even HATE PEOPLE WHO PRETEND!!!

Results and Emotions..........

Yep!! result came...after a much wait.....infact me n a friend were just discussing about the date of result's announcement and just after a while we came to know that result have actually came..........
Finally....Became an engineer.............a graduate........................
umm........got 82%...expected around 84%...thanks to my HOD....he didnt gave our project enough marks....reason........



REWIND BACK...........
A day of our Project presentation.........
Since morning we guys were waiting for our turn....our was the last roll no thats too in second section B......
Firstly presentation of section A started at 9am.......our dear HOD was sitting and was screwing every kid....seeing each and every project in detail and with interest.....counting of section was about to reach the end...and HOD vanished for lunch or meeting or whatever at 1pm
No probs...it was quite a relaxation for may students...as teacher superseded and things flighted again at 02pm.....section A got completed....section B started and things were under control no pressure at until HOD arrived at 4:50pm..........just 3 rnoz. before ours.........
We all went under the hyper-tension...he started pin pointing mistakes...in the third last rno. project file...which could have been ignored as most of the students did the same things....My heart-beat started off like a rajdhani express.....I was feeling so cold...even though...the AC of our Computer lab never worked...I could still feeling chilly.......

Next roll no. went off....and just because he had a introduction of 2 page...instead of 1.5 page...he was asked to leave....at that very moment I got that sinking feeling....my partner was supportive but we both knew what was coming.....
4:55pm.....our turn.......nervously we wished our HOD good evening...even in the depths I was knowing it isn't good.....rather its far away from good.........its going to be the worse then ever..........I was praying that he might just disappear...or I get invisible........while thinking this at back of my mind...I sat just before him with my partner.... The very next words even proved it when he said those lines to a teacher near by..."how many students are left...wined up quickly...I haven't had lunch...its about to be 5:00 pm... I have to go back home..."


 I knew the worst has come...he's gonna take us off in a hip-nip and their goes the tonnes of toil and hard work and sleepless nights of my innocent partner...(you might be thinking why only my partner...that part will come later....) so when the teacher said "these are the only ones left (to be eaten up...)"....With his "Dracula Smile" " he asked the title of the project and he didn't even saw the file leave alone the project....and said some blah blah...and finally asked us to leave........I saw the clock.............dot 5:00pm.....I just felt like saying that F word for him...bloody loser.....

Just because he has to go home...we who were waiting since morning were just skipped in few seconds........
Then...what I came out was a saddest face and the blame game started between me and my partner....what was next...I was saw afraid that my 150 no. of project has gone off to the coffin....and all my anger got loose on my partner...even though he was the one who was feeling hurt..as it was all his work..he had spend days n nights on it....and I was just their for the namesake.....This feeling left me with intense abash....why was I blaming him...when there was only one person to be blamed....the one who wanted to risk our noz....just because it was 5:00pm...all the matter to him was to go home...........Bullshit on him......
I gathered up myself.....wiped the tears off my face...and put on the masked portrait smile....to make up to my partner....who needed the support more than me......

 Then the drama of searching for an approach followed....but all in vain...my partner...even got one....but I haven't got any...and I keep on taunting him on that....I know I shouldn't have...I didn't deserved any of it....But, I was doing it for no damn good reason...It was not ME....it was not me being all selfish.....no just ME......cannot be ME...............


PRESENT TIME.....
Anyways....time passed...and the result came...I was not happy with 82%... I was expecting around 84%....I saw my noz........all theory paper were superb...all the practical scores were good...but my project................got just 113....from the the rest of the class which scored anything b/w 130 to 147... just 20 no. more which could be easily achieved...if the HOD wanted......but....kick his butt....
Neways......Then I saw my partner's noz.........shit man........even he got the same 113....... no approach worked.........at that moment I remembered all the taunting and all the blames i throwed on him...for no good reason.....That moment I felt that "kash uski approach lag gayi hoti...he actually deserved it......"
But as they say....
words once said cannot be taken back...so use them well.............and use them wisely....

Even now I feel like crying...but I'll not...I just don't want to talk to anyone...I want just me.......and someone to listen...but this was no time to pour yourself out...as everyone is going to their own set of emotions.....
Thanks to the rains....they came down just in time for me.........
Seriously...m in love with rains...they fill you right through............................
Thanks to the Blog....it is better to have with you...when u actually want to have a someone to listen...It doesn't judge you...nor make faces...nor give advices...it just takes in what ever you write..............................
Whatever.......I completed my degree and I'm finally a Graduate....Its a BIG DAY...........and finally , happy..............Muaaaaaaaah.........

In short....Krishn ji ka lakh lakh dhanyawad..........since i was not even expecting that much in project....and waise be...Bhagwan ji jo kuch be kartr h aache k liye hi krte h..as my muma say it............I learned my lesson..............................

Happy Blogging..........................,,. 

Finally... :) after such a sad post.........................m smiling full-tuk........ :))

P.S. Plz don't ask any question regarding this post..........I had to vent it out so I did.............BTW...m happy now...that what matters..........

I have Never....................

I have never had a slim waist....(I tried many a times though!!!)....I've never danced till my heart content.....I've never met a Big movie star..... I've never had make up on....I'v never built sand castles.....I'v never build even a snowman......I'v never worn pencil heels....I'v never had hard drinks....I'v never won a contenst on radio or t.v.....I'v never liked too fancy sounding food.... I'v never danced atop a table..... I'v never been to a club.... I'v never driven a car..... I'v never stayed home alone all night.....I'v never starved myself (like d'oh).....I'v never swim in sea....I'v never been teacher's pet....I'v never stayed in a hospital.....I'v never had perfect hairs....I'v never made a good sketch...I'v never painted my nails with vague colors.... I'v never gone trekking.....I'v never got married...I'v never gone hunting....I'v never gone fishing.....I'v never been on a real ship.....I'v never seen a live match.... I'v never gotten stuck in an elevator with someone.....I'v never witnessed a fairytale.... I'v never gone rolling downhill on grass..... I'v never been abroad.....I'v never been to the southernmost tip of India...... I'v never topped a class..... I'v never had pets....I'v never worn a real short dress..... I'v never punched or hit someone.....I'v never felt extremely intelligent..... I'v never done black magic......I'v never been fitted in my sister's clothes....I'v never been able to finish my lunch on time....I'v never shouted at top of my voice....I'v never been too funny..... I'v never watched f.r.i.e.n.d.s..... I'v never stayed in an old mansion..... I'v never seen a gun for real.....I'v never coloured my hair....I'v never seen a dog eat homework.....

See! You, me and us. We'r ordinary people. Never must you feel that your life has been a black and white boring movie. Because, have no fear, Upasana is here. Her movie is an Oscar nominee for the black and white boring movie category :) Smile now.


But, I may have never done this that, but I have made people their ownselves with me.... I'm content :))


PS: If you wish to do this as a post on your blog, I won't call you a copy cat. Go ahead. Spread my awesomeness. Wheeeee!

13 Random things About Me!!!

"About Me".... if asked in an interview I would definitely drench my mind thinking what the interviewer wants to hear.... But...actually what About Me.... I often found it difficult to answer this question.... what we all say....I'm 21 years...studies this that...and all that traditional blah blah.......But still we need to discover many things about ourselves....Here is my try!!!

Why 13.... well I'm born on 13th and many things are attached to it...which I'll probably write some other day...for the time being..."13 random things ABOUT ME"

1. I absolutly love my family...Indeed, God has choosen the best for me...I couldn't have ask for anything better than this!!!

Love u Ma, Pa and Di...

2.I adore my girlfriends and nothing can dare change that....There are certain things that only girls can understand eventhough most of my friends are men...and they are the best thing that have happen to me....

3.I think I'm independent...But I don't do a thing without telling it to ma or di or any of my friend....That's the way I'm...

4.I love to be pampered...I'm emotionally quite high-maintainance...I don't demand diamonds or presents...for that matter not even chocolates or flowers...All I want is time and attention...

5.I'm religious and spiritual but hate it when its imposed on me!!! 

6.If time and money are not a problem...I'll Love to explore the world...length to breadth...and do craziest of adventures.........

7.Now a days..I can stay up all night writting, watching movies doing whatever but when i have to study i feel like staying up is the hardest thing to do. I probably wake up early in the morning to hole those books........

8.Gold.........eheh.....I just don't like it....agree that old is Gold...but Gold is so old....u might think...Diamonds...but Diamonds are not my best friends atleast....

9.I try to prepare myself for the worst in every situation...that's a pessimist in me....but I have a firm belive in the Almighty... In short, I'm a "Opssimist"...

10.I hate it when people are upset because of me or at me. It drives me nuts and in my attempt to have them not mad at me or because of me i tend to get on their nerves, i think....

11. I get attached very easily and have a heartache later on... Thats a bad bad bad thing. I wish everytime i said "I dont care" i really didn't care but its just the opposite :(

12. I love my school...am glad my parents send me there...my college..well it was a trailer of the real world...

13.Thanks to my last visit to Barista...I have developed a fetish for good coffee...no doubt I'm a gourmet....

umm.................still not all....one can never have enough of one's ownself....

To sum up....I like to be free as a bird and intrepid like a lioness...but  at the same time I'm very integrated and grounded...I'm an Ambivert an Aquarian with a difference.......

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Happy reading....... :)