Crazy till 25...

Well... after I wrote "A Look Back"... I actually thought it only two more year to 25… just two more… why not live the way I wanna live it… crazily...

Upasana: 'U r crazy', my friends often call me! That's the most interesting part doing unpredictable weirdo wale things...

Doing the things we actually want to do...

If u ask me.. I am actually fed up from the way "how I am supposed to live"... Illusion living that not just me but everyone creates... we all… in order to act/behave like "normal" citizens of normal society...

Come on... there isn't anyone in this world who has time to chart my sanity or for that matter my insanity... (not talking about the Good God!)

Who cares... whether I punch, gym, drove high, put the ear-deaf music...

Whom on this earth we are trying to impress???

None, right... It’s better to be bitten for what u r… then to be appreciated for what u r not...

And people who matters KNOW u... so let the rest of the world… R.I.P....

There is a part inside all of us that likes to be totally crazy... totally geared up to full speed to wildness...

Let's get that part of the box to the platter...

Things I think... are really wacky … I know after a while I'll b glad I did them…Man I had guts to bite them.... that abnormal something of the society...

I might feel a bit dizzy or guilty... thinking about the people who care for me...or m answerable to...However the fact is... I want to do them...

I am a lil nut… here are the nuts I wanna grap...

1. Wanna shout at top of my voice till my throat swells....

2. Dance in the moonlight...

3. Sneaking out of home, spending whole night with friends...

4. Laugh till my stomach pains and eyes flow

5. Drive alone @ 2 in night on full speed on a highway...

6. Do some bike stunts.... wheelie stoppie, high stand, burn-out...

7. Paint my room myself with different colors...

8. Go on long drive say anywhere some 400-500 kms in open car… driving in turns…

9. Have a most perfect date, with candle-lit dinner and violins and belly dancers on a beach...

10. Whistle and clap in the movie hall to the fullest...

11. Laugh at any one passing by...

12. To live in a tree house...

13. Go camping, under the stars...

14. Watch the scariest movies in night show...

15. Go roaming around the world... Back-packer style...

16. Make a popat of a policewala...

17. Talking non-stop about nothing from day till night...

18. Putting Maggie all over my friends hair...

19. Making my friends sing Happy B'day like the typical school classroom style...

20. Opening a champagne and popping the cock on sum1's head!

wowo....

 (Few others, which I prefer keeping offline... :P)

List done, Fun Undone...

Cheers!!

Regret......

Sometimes in life we become so blindfolded about things that we love and run after, that we forget to see in what ways is it corrupting us……and at the end of it all, we never find the things we were actually running after, because it was never ours anyway, but we end up becoming something that we were actually not.

So one fine day when we realize that a wild goose chase has done us no good, it has infact consumed all our energy and vibrancy, it has made us do bad to people who actually cared, who were there with us all along, but we never noticed them because we took them for granted in this maddening chase, we realize that they all have already moved too far, and you are left with nothing, no energy, vibrancy or trust from people who actually cared.

So what do you do then?

Apologize to people whom you have hurt badly?

That won’t be the solution I guess…..

the best thing possible that could be done now is to pave the way that you broke while running, putting each stone step by step, making sure that nobody ever falls again from the road of trust that you have built.

And maybe that would be the best thing that you could do for people who actually cared.

Amen!!

These lyrics are awesome....I feel addicted when I hear this one.......M still High!!


It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, 
you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face
let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes
saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me
if ever I fall
You say it best
when you say nothing at all


All day long I can hear 
people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, 
you drown out the crowd
Try as they may they can never define
What's being said between your heart and mine


The smile on your face 
let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes 
saying you'll never leave me 
The touch of your hand says
you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best 
when you say nothing at all..

Isn't it just beautiful? You'll fall in luv........

What a Girl Really wants....

You know what really turns a girl on????? So what what your mind says....Kisses and hugs.... Temme if it has to be something.....  More than kisses more than hugs more than anything in this world.....Well, to tell you the fact it is - Honesty.

If you are in a relationship of any kind with a girl - friend, mother, sister, girl friend..anyone,if you are not yourself with her, if you are not honest with her you are gonna lose her respect if not her...

I say only respect and not her because girls have this weird habit of letting it go and giving another chance. For them the relationship is just too important to give up on you that easily...

Even if you go and make out with another girl, even if you are a drug addict, even if you bitched about her, even if you think that you need space, even if you think that she is too possessive..even if you are married to another woman..but you still want to be with her..just come and tell her! believe me she'd eventually forgive you and still love you as much. I mean I know guys who the world thinks can be the best catch, but the reality is they are the biggest jerks of all the times!!!

For God's sake always be honest with her! She expects you to share all your troubles with her. If she's told you that she loves you that automatically means that she's gonna listen to all your troubles and try and make you comfortable as best as she can. Once she has fallen in love with you trust me she has already stopped judging you!! So kindly have the courage to tell her what you truly feel and what blunders you have truly committed! She will scold you only because it hurts to see someone she loves in trouble. You know she'd find out the truth anyway. But if YOU go and tell her, you'd not only feel lighter but also will earn her respect!!!

Even if you are oh-not-so-cool dude, please dont try and act like one!! thats so bloody irritating!!

Plz "Be yourself".... I'd rather marry a simple shirt-pant vala honest guy who has the guts to be himself and accepts what he is than a wannabe dude with so called super cool ultra low waist jeans and chains or whatever u call those ugly things hanging around the belt but doesn't know shit about his roots and is too ashamed to accept that he is originally from, say, some small village near Ramgarh!!

I am not a feminist nor any "Lady Bheem" and well what ever I just said about how girls give another chance and everything might be true for boys too. Basically, the bottom line is I rather we all HATE LIARS and we even HATE PEOPLE WHO PRETEND!!!

Me v/s Myself

Happened before the dream last night...battle of me's and my'selves...

Me: I am tired....
Myself:  No, it is just the Monsoon humidity doing rounds...
Me: But it never happened to me before...
Myself: Yes, sitting in front of the computer without any exercise can do that to you...
Me: I should exercise! go to walk....

Myself: I have heard that one before, more than once actually!
Me: I think I will wake up early tomorrow...
Myself: LOL.
Me: I will. I am going to sleep early...
Myself: Just to exercise or for walking??
Me: No. I have to study too.
Myself: Oh yes, I almost forgot to remind you that your big day is less than 3 months away.
Me: I haven't forgotten but I have just not been able to make the time...(smug)
Myself: It is convenient to make reasons...
Me: Ok, I know I have been a loser.
Myself: But it is not too late. Don't give up in the  last lap....
Me: I am trying.....
Myself: No, you are not but you should. I know I can!
Me: Oh, in all this hopelessness, I have something to look forward to....
Myself: Going to shopping!!
Me: It might just be the break I need. But not exactly it...
Myself: Its meeting friend/s...nah...its confusia...
Me: What is the first thing you think I should do?
Myself: Get your priorities right.
Me: Ok, don't be so mean...

Myself: Isn't it hardwired in me?
Me: Yeah, yeah, but I want it no more now.
Myself: I will try not to be rude if you stick to our word.
Me: I AM TRYING....
Myself: Good. Now, go sleep. You have to wake up early tomorrow.
Me: Uh...Good Night..Sleep Tight..Sweet Dreams...All the Night...
Myself:Take the blanket over...
Me:No..I have to sleep over...
Myself:Your wish...
Me:Where is the Blanket?
Myself: Right there...
Me:Fine.Good Night now...shit...Gotto make a call...
Myself: Not now..
Me:Please..
Myself: No..sleep...gotto wake up early...
Me:(made call..no one picked!)...ehhhhhhh........GOOD NIGHT.....
Myself: :)
Me: (dreaming)!!!




Peace!!!

In Love with Ghost....

This one is strictly inspired by an unusual dream I had last night...yup!!! I dreamed of a Ghost...and the funniest part...I was in Love with Him/It (whatever....)...
In the late morning today...I actually thought how it will be to be in love with a Ghost...(like in movie Paheli...which I saw last weekend...on tv) and finally this is what I got from the thought....

Pros:
1. The best part....Your parents can never catch you with him, leave alone the aunties or uncles (whom you might not know but they can find you anywhere among thousands of people)...  because all he has to do is disappear....
2. Body odour and bad breath is NEVER an issue...
3. You don't have to worry about your love getting hurt in an accident (ghost -> already dead).
4. No problems with punctuality from your sweetsoul's end (no heart, remember)....
5. You don't need to be afraid of the dark anymore, your love's got excellent night vision...
6." Think of me, and I'll be there" really works in this case...
7. The 'walking through walls' ability saves you a lot of trouble when you lock yourself...
8. Always giving you small appearing surprises...
9. Can come to meet you anytime of day...and even in night... ;)
10.Even death cannot do you apart...

Cons:
1. Serious lack of privacy...
2. Lack of physical presence...
3. Cannot be introduced to your parents / friends / relatives / boss...
4. Annoying disappearing act in the middle of heated arguments...
5. Can't go for long walks during the day...
6. Can't play hide n seek...
7. You would never know if he's cheating on you, because he'd never smell of another woman's perfume...hehe...
8. You can't exactly break up, especially if he isn't willing to....
9. Poses a serious threat to your next lover....
10. Always worried about him passing over to the next world....


umm...what else is left to say..


Happy Ghosting.. :)

A Let-ter to LOVE...

Dear Love,

I hear you have been busy. I don't know if you know but you have recently visited (or in some case revisited) some of my friends and infected them with the affliction that they don't understand. How can they feel self assured with your presence in their life if they can't comprehend you?

If they can't find assurance themselves, they look towards their friends, ordinary people like me, who to say the least can only give them a third person's perspective on the whole issue. How can a third person give a perspective on how love should be? How can anyone define it? Isn't it unique to every two people who are or have ever been in love? The irony is that they think you have to be understood before they can embrace you, while it is the embrace that brings the understanding.

On another note, the more I hear of you, the more I wonder what makes you tick in the hearts of people. Why a person chooses another can never be fully explained by anyone, including the two souls involved. It'll be interesting to know your modus operandi some day. Why don't you write an autobiography and tell us your story?

Since I know what you mean to me, everything I have written here may be coloured with my experiences, no matter how much objectivity I try to retain in my words. But at the end, I know, you who none understands, will understand.

Yours Sincerely,

The Confused Reality

I have Never....................

I have never had a slim waist....(I tried many a times though!!!)....I've never danced till my heart content.....I've never met a Big movie star..... I've never had make up on....I'v never built sand castles.....I'v never build even a snowman......I'v never worn pencil heels....I'v never had hard drinks....I'v never won a contenst on radio or t.v.....I'v never liked too fancy sounding food.... I'v never danced atop a table..... I'v never been to a club.... I'v never driven a car..... I'v never stayed home alone all night.....I'v never starved myself (like d'oh).....I'v never swim in sea....I'v never been teacher's pet....I'v never stayed in a hospital.....I'v never had perfect hairs....I'v never made a good sketch...I'v never painted my nails with vague colors.... I'v never gone trekking.....I'v never got married...I'v never gone hunting....I'v never gone fishing.....I'v never been on a real ship.....I'v never seen a live match.... I'v never gotten stuck in an elevator with someone.....I'v never witnessed a fairytale.... I'v never gone rolling downhill on grass..... I'v never been abroad.....I'v never been to the southernmost tip of India...... I'v never topped a class..... I'v never had pets....I'v never worn a real short dress..... I'v never punched or hit someone.....I'v never felt extremely intelligent..... I'v never done black magic......I'v never been fitted in my sister's clothes....I'v never been able to finish my lunch on time....I'v never shouted at top of my voice....I'v never been too funny..... I'v never watched f.r.i.e.n.d.s..... I'v never stayed in an old mansion..... I'v never seen a gun for real.....I'v never coloured my hair....I'v never seen a dog eat homework.....

See! You, me and us. We'r ordinary people. Never must you feel that your life has been a black and white boring movie. Because, have no fear, Upasana is here. Her movie is an Oscar nominee for the black and white boring movie category :) Smile now.


But, I may have never done this that, but I have made people their ownselves with me.... I'm content :))


PS: If you wish to do this as a post on your blog, I won't call you a copy cat. Go ahead. Spread my awesomeness. Wheeeee!

Tere Bin Friends.........

Memories are not just individual's ability to retain n recall information....it is more then that....Memories stuck for a lifetime,they drag you for a lifetime....More you try to de-attach yourself,they always comeback to you in the most unexpected form...

With Frienship Day just gone by...I sat down with the pictures of My Friendship days making there way in my mind.....when I was actually with my friends....wheather it was in school or college...It has always been amazing...having fun all together....those Bikanar parties during school....those canteen hang outs in school and  college...those b'day bashes...those talks...those hostel....mess...those games in hostel.....those pranks...those bunking of classes...those proxies....those prayers before result..those never ending talks...umm...so much went off.....I actually thought that we were having fun...but now I know...we were making memories....

Memories to cherish...to love .... to relive...to cry with...to laugh on...to make you sad...to make you smile.......They make you sad,happy,gloomy or crabby...but surely they leave silent footprints on your subconsciousness...They help you rejoice in other people's good fortunes,they even withdraw you from your own fortunes....

Seriously it seems so difficult...when you spend years together in one place...called school...with friends...who did those unspoken promises of staying together....and then you had your farewell in school...and then..making making new friends in college and try to cement old friendships....and then...you thought this will never end....but ...again a farewell....
Memories.......ah......they are like providing a permanence of an ice cube in the desert of loneliness....at the same time Memories are like having your fav dish with bucketful of salt, pepper and chilly powder....

Today, it has been almost two months...since I have seen many of my dear friends....yep...we due talk but...presence matters...those smiles...those expressions...those eyes...those pranks...life is miserable without Friends...
Sometimes...when I see those pictures.....It seem just yesterday...when I was there with them.....smiling with all those people whom I had loved to be with always.......they are so fresh and pure....those Memories will remain till the  time called Forever........

13 Random things About Me!!!

"About Me".... if asked in an interview I would definitely drench my mind thinking what the interviewer wants to hear.... But...actually what About Me.... I often found it difficult to answer this question.... what we all say....I'm 21 years...studies this that...and all that traditional blah blah.......But still we need to discover many things about ourselves....Here is my try!!!

Why 13.... well I'm born on 13th and many things are attached to it...which I'll probably write some other day...for the time being..."13 random things ABOUT ME"

1. I absolutly love my family...Indeed, God has choosen the best for me...I couldn't have ask for anything better than this!!!

Love u Ma, Pa and Di...

2.I adore my girlfriends and nothing can dare change that....There are certain things that only girls can understand eventhough most of my friends are men...and they are the best thing that have happen to me....

3.I think I'm independent...But I don't do a thing without telling it to ma or di or any of my friend....That's the way I'm...

4.I love to be pampered...I'm emotionally quite high-maintainance...I don't demand diamonds or presents...for that matter not even chocolates or flowers...All I want is time and attention...

5.I'm religious and spiritual but hate it when its imposed on me!!! 

6.If time and money are not a problem...I'll Love to explore the world...length to breadth...and do craziest of adventures.........

7.Now a days..I can stay up all night writting, watching movies doing whatever but when i have to study i feel like staying up is the hardest thing to do. I probably wake up early in the morning to hole those books........

8.Gold.........eheh.....I just don't like it....agree that old is Gold...but Gold is so old....u might think...Diamonds...but Diamonds are not my best friends atleast....

9.I try to prepare myself for the worst in every situation...that's a pessimist in me....but I have a firm belive in the Almighty... In short, I'm a "Opssimist"...

10.I hate it when people are upset because of me or at me. It drives me nuts and in my attempt to have them not mad at me or because of me i tend to get on their nerves, i think....

11. I get attached very easily and have a heartache later on... Thats a bad bad bad thing. I wish everytime i said "I dont care" i really didn't care but its just the opposite :(

12. I love my school...am glad my parents send me there...my college..well it was a trailer of the real world...

13.Thanks to my last visit to Barista...I have developed a fetish for good coffee...no doubt I'm a gourmet....

umm.................still not all....one can never have enough of one's ownself....

To sum up....I like to be free as a bird and intrepid like a lioness...but  at the same time I'm very integrated and grounded...I'm an Ambivert an Aquarian with a difference.......

.

Happy reading....... :)

Rain Rain Come again...

Temme.... what could be more perfect on Saturday Morning..... Weekend on, Cool Breeze blowing,  Trees swinging... You hear rain pouring while you are still twisting in your bed making your mind to get up....but with a smile... a smile of knowing yep! it will be beautiful day!!!
So, finally up and fresh....having a bowl full of hot daliya...(oops!! cuppa is missing!! not so perfect uh? r u thinking that....well lemme tell u den rains are all about surprises!!) Umm....hot stream of daliya going down the food pipe and just then the cool breeze give an embrace....shivers go down your spine....making u giggle...

After being quite amused with the showers,I saw through my window.... greenry of trees.... kids getting wet in rains....their mums worried... People at their balconies talking sweet nothings with their loved ones...
Then I saw the street children....smiling with the drop of rains....glittering  eyes...as if it says...its the best way to live your day...away from overrefinement of life... Rains brought smile to them.....Indeed monsoon makes every one smile....

But...but...something was incomplete....yepp.........how can anyone keep oneself away from these sprinkling streams of showers...Not me atleast....I drop the daliya (the beauty of rains bind so much that you forget even the hottest of things...;)...)went on the roof....and let the rain drops do their work on me..... beautiful.....
but that's not all.....rains without some fun...are a big NO NO!!!.... so ....just went down....took my niece and nephew along...and then....smaaaaaaaaassssssssh........ in the rain pool..... I tell u its nothing like dancing in the rain....jumping in those rain pools....throwing ganda paani on each other.......

Rains are not to be seen from the Windowpane.....
I know rain makes still pools on the side-walks....It makes running pools in the gutter...But it also makes little sleep-song on roof at night....And it does bring that Smile...
So throw away those umbrellas and  go out and feel it....

Happy Appie Rain Dancing!!!